


Like The Dawn

by crimsxnflxwerz



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Greek and Roman Mythology
Genre: F/M, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Greek gods, Hades/Persephone Dynamic, In the Beginning, Kinda, M/M, Major Character Death warning for Persephone killing herself, Reincarnation, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicide mention, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-04 21:45:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12780162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsxnflxwerz/pseuds/crimsxnflxwerz
Summary: Sometimes it takes opening your eyes to find what you’re looking for.[ or Persephone gets reborn as a baby boy named Ryan, and Hades takes the human form Shane in a desperate attempt to find his love once again. ]





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Authors Note: this fic has gone through edits and rewrites of chapters 2 & 3! Please be sure to check it out, because it happened on 6/30/18 & 7/1/18, so if you read this fic before then, well you might be a little confused in upcoming chapters because I changed some stuff. Thank you for your patience! Its been really hard getting back into a creative mind lately.

She was the most beautiful creature in all of the worlds. Her hair held red poppies and white hemlock, green vines wrapping their delicate curls around her wrists, decorating her waist in mindless patterns. Humming birds and chickadees sang her praise, roe and fallow deer bowed in her presence. Her beauty and grace was like no other. She was gorgeous in every sense of the word. Her voice could strike your heart hot, her wit take you for a fool. She was no ordinary woman, and so she could have no ordinary partner.

Hades had watched Persephone from a distance for decades. He knew that if he were to have her, it would not be by her own free will. He may charm her and please her, bring her gifts and love her; but she would never long for the underworld. No one ever did. The underworld was a maw, open wide and tense, ready to snap shut at the slightest hint of warmth, at the ghost of light. Souls traveled down often, but rarely did they resurface. Everything he touched turned dark, the color faded, its radiance dimmed. Things came down under to die, not to visit in passing.

Like Hades had always felt a love for the overworld, he had also always felt a love for Persephone. She was dark, like damp earth, freckled from the sun, benevolent as a forest creature, strong as slate rock. She wasn’t as old as the other Gods, but she held an air of wisdom that one could only get through listening. Listening to the world, observing bees pollinate flowers, existing as silently as possible, waiting for the universe to open up like an old book and show you all its secrets. 

She appeared young, but her soul was ancient; and like many ancients, she was stagnant. Stuck between Earth and her mother, unable to move, unable to see past a certain point.

If you asked him now, Hades would say that he had to do it.

A millennium of watching her rot had worn him down. When he tore from the earth and scooped her up into his chariot, she had been out picking flowers for a bouquet. Rose petals fluttered down to the dirt path where she had been walking moments ago. In the moment, she had been too shocked to scream. Looking back, however, sometimes Hades wondered if she had even wanted to. It was what people did when they were taken, screamed for help. He wondered if she’d felt him, shaking the ground she stood on, vibrations shooting up through the layers of soil and in through her body. He wondered if she knew and chose not to scream. Maybe she wanted to be taken away. Maybe she wanted someone to jostle her from her holding place, break her chains and set her free.

At first, Persephone hated the underworld. And he wouldn’t blame her for that. No one hated the underworld more than Hades himself. The God which this land was thrust upon, a barren wasteland, ruler of the damned, the dead. It was an unpleasant place, to say the least. The palace was the only place where Hades had control of appearances, but even then his home was made of obsidian rock, wedged into the side of a cliff, and sectioned off from the rest of the underworld by the great rivers Styx and Acheron. 

Hades was the richest god, for all the rare metals and gems of the Earth belonged to him. His palace was decorated with these, and he had no qualms about gifting these priceless artifacts to his newly beloved. Persephone had rarely seen gemstones in her time in the overworld. She rarely tilled soil other than to tend to her garden, and mostly such soil was rich in other ways. Her favorite gemstone was the red ruby. Hades had gifted her with a necklace of silver that curled around a red ruby at the center. It was the only gift from him she cherished. 

Persephone warmed up to Hades at the speed of molasses dripping from a spoon. Slowly, carefully, sweetly. Hades rarely slept, so he’d given her his chambers to dwell in. The room was large, the bed soft and covered in furs. drapes hanging lazily from a marble frame. Most nights she slept alone, but over time, Hades became more and more appealing. She was still a captive in this place, but it was new, and Hades was dangerous, and she was glad to be unstuck. When she took him to bed, it was because she had wanted it. When they made love, she was in control. When she sat next to him as his queen, she held her head high. When he spoke, it may have been his voice, but it was her words. She worked her way, slowly, into everything he was, everything he did.

Maybe Hades became a little codependent on his queen. She was so gorgeous in the underworld, her beauty shone in stark contrast to the ugly nature of the realm. She was like the white snow that covered all the things that had died during the fall. a soft, cold blanket to make you forget.

So when she drowned herself in the river Styx, Hades was devastated. 

Demeter told him that it was what he deserved, for stealing her daughter away. Persephone was fine without him, she said. She would still be alive if you hadn’t taken her.

But Hades was nothing if not stubborn, so he implored the goddess Styx about Persephone’s death. He told her that gods don’t really die. He reasoned that she must be out there. Somewhere. Without him.

Styx formed before him at his request, a watery serpent with a voice like a whisper in an echo chamber. Water poured from it’s open mouth, its eyes glinting dangerously in the low light. “ _Into the river she stepped with a plan, she would drown herself and be born again. All of her memories may have been taken, but none of her feelings were ever forsaken_.”

Then Styx returned to the river, and Hades sighed in relief. She had been born again, likely as a human. He knew of gods doing it in the past to escape, so it wasn’t unheard of. Finding her, though, was another story. He only had a limited time to find her, since mortal lives were so short, he would have to work extra hard to be reunited with her. 

It would be a long journey for him, but he was willing to do this. He wanted to see her again, apologize. He promised he would make this right, love her right, and not hold her captive any longer. He just had to find her first. 

_In a hospital in California, a nurse hands a baby over to a new mother. The baby’s cries quiet down as she feels her mother hold her close. She coos at her._

_“Oh, look, it’s my baby girl,” she whispers. “Hello, Ryan.”_


	2. but my world is you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> paths are about to cross.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy thanksgiving!
> 
> (6/30/18 edit:: made revisions to this chapter)

Ryan was drowning.   
  
Maybe drowning wasn’t the best word for it. He’d been walking along the dark shore of a vast, choppy river, bare feet treading delicately on thousands of small, round pebbles. The horizon was a white light that bled up into a black sky like a watercolor painting. There were no stars, no moon, no sounds but the waves lapping at the rocks. He’d been walking for miles, but he wasn’t tired. He’d been watching the water for hours, but the image hadn’t changed. The light stayed the same, the air remained chill, the darkness absolute.   
  
And he had walked into the water like it was the most normal thing he could have been doing. As soon as his foot touched the water, it felt like he’d been bitten. Like a thousand teeth were piercing his skin. The water physically recoiled, moving as a single body, steam hissing upward.   
  
He wasn’t drowning. Drowning would imply accident. This was no accident. He’d stepped into that black water to die, and that had been that. He couldn’t remember why he had done what he did, what he was escaping, but the pain in his chest outweighed the fear of the water. There was a voice in his ear.   
  
“ _ Once you do this, you cannot go back _ ,” it said. “ _ Unless he finds you, you may not return to what you once were _ .”   
  
Ryan heard the words, but held his resolve. Eventually the water engulfed him, and he parted his lips, letting it in like a lovers kiss. It felt heavy, and cold, but he couldn’t leave now. He’d made his choice, and that was to die.   
  
The last thing he heard was a name, his name he thought, but it had said, “ _ Persephone _ .”   
  
Ryan jolted awake. He looked around his bedroom, eyes scanning frantically for his clock. He located it on the floor, probably knocked over at some point in the night. It’s neon blue digital numbers read 7:00 am. Sweat covered his entire body, soaking through his pajama shirt and into his pillow. He threw the covers back away from his legs and sat up on the side of his bed.   
  
Another dream about it. He stood shakily and went to turn his shower on. Another dream about drowning. He peeled his pajamas off and tossed them in his laundry basket as he waited for the water to warm up. What could the dreams mean, he thought, staring at himself in the mirror. He ran his fingertips along the thin surgery scars on his chest. They were pale enough by now to not be very noticeable. Maybe the dreams were the lingering doubts within these papw, pink lines. He had been desperate once; but that was a long time ago.

When he got in the shower, the water was steaming hot. He yelped, pressing his back into the cool tile. Reaching around the stream, he turned the knob slightly and the water cooled down. He sighed. He didn't have the best apartment, but it was all he could afford at the moment. He worked as a secretary at a studio where he had interned during school. His degree would eventually afford him better housing- filmography could get you pretty far in California- but he just wasn't there yet. For now he would have to deal with either scalding hot or barely lukewarm showers, a springy mattress, and an unreliable ac unit.

It didn't bother him all that much. He had long days at the office, but he could do anything he wanted in his down time. On his days off he recorded skits and nature videos on his amazing camera his parents got him for a graduation gift. At work, he edited them and posted them to his account. He considered it to be 'building his portfolio’, though he mostly did it for fun. He also did it alone. Sometimes, he would have a few of his acquaintances help with some things, but they weren't usually that interested. Which was fine, it was  _ his _ hobby after all.   


He grabbed a towel as he hopped out of the shower to dry off. Facing the mirror, he wiped a patch of fog from it's surface and stared. His mind traveled back to the dream that had shaken him awake. That dark place, it was so beautiful, but had bad energy to it. The entire scenario- walking down a beach, choosing the best place to die. It was all too familiar.

There was a scar to the upper right of his navel where he'd cracked a rib while cliff diving. And another one right above his left eyebrow from when he attempted to overdose and hit his head against his mother's porcelain sink. And a dozen or so on his thighs from when he'd been taken by the gleam of a razor blade.

There's something so familiar about the emptiness in his dream. Like he was looking back at a place he'd been. Maybe the dark shore was symbolic. Maybe the peace was superficial. But what about the voice?

_ Once you do this, you cannot go back. Unless he finds you, you may not return to what you once were. _

The voice had been more like several voices. Hissing and overlapping in a way that both chilled and soothed him. It was as if the very ocean had been speaking.

He couldn't explain it.

He sorted all those thoughts into a folder and stored it away for later. Today, he was filming again. He would worry about the dream, and what it could mean, at a later date. For now, he was going to go out and do what he loved.

The neighborhood he lived in was a long street of shops that eventually trickled down to nothing but shacks and sidewalk and forest. That particular section of forest was Ryan's favorite place to film. The trees weren't too dense, lots of natural light, and plenty of forest life.

You see, Ryan had this relationship with nature. His mother used to tell him that he should become a veterinarian or a zoologist or a park ranger. Animals loved him, every houseplant he ever kept was always so healthy, and he was blessed with good weather. He guessed he was just born with a green thumb- with perks- or something.

It never bothered him, except when people just assumed things about him because of it. People thought he wanted to have a life revolving around plants or animals, but that wasn't the case. He enjoyed his nature videos, but those were a past time. He could always trade that interest for more gym time or more writing or more skits. He didn't want his uncanny relationship with nature to hold back his dreams of directing, filming, acting. Those were all things he wanted to do more than hang out with animals all day.

He threw an outfit together that would be good for a long nature walk. Meandering into the kitchen, he poured himself some cereal and turned on the coffee maker. As the aroma of ground coffee beans filled the air, he thought about where he wanted to shoot today. The last time he went out, he filmed a lot of birds and a few foxes. One of their dens was near a large oak tree. Behind it, he'd seen an abandoned cabin, but it was getting dark so he decided to head home instead of investigate. He wondered if he could find that place again. The abandoned cabin might even be a good place to start a new series on abandoned locations. He saw some pretty popular videos floating around about abandoned malls and such.

The coffee pot dinged as it finished up brewing. He poured some half and half and a teaspoon of sugar in a mug before filling it up with coffee. He ate his dry cereal and drank his coffee slowly since he still didn't feel fully awake. He heard his phone buzz on the kitchen counter, so he went over to grab it.

His phone read 9am. Wow, he wasted two hours in his morning routine. Uncommon for a work day, but valid for his day off. He grabbed his coffee and chugged the rest of it. Slinging a bag over his shoulder, he left his apartment.

* * *

 

**_Sara_ ** :  _ Do you wanna hang out at your place today? _   
  
Shane squinted at the screen of his phone. He looked at the clock, but remembered that he’d actually unplugged it last night, so it wasn’t on. Judging by the light outside, he’d have to guess that it was around noon. He rubbed his eyes with his fingertips and let out a small groan.   
  
Six months. Six months, he’d been a human without going back down, even once. He’d never been in the overworld for this long at once. It was exhausting, really. As a human, in his human body, he needed to do things, like eat, and sleep. In the underworld, he never needed to do these things. Drink nectar for pleasure, bathe to pass time, and lay in his bed covered in furs to see if they still smell like her.    
  
Oh yes, he’d been in the overworld for six months, because he could have sworn he was getting close.   
  
He wasn’t sure why he felt this way. There was no indication besides a tightness in his chest, an anxious feeling in his gut. His very soul reaching out, feeling hers reach back. No evidence that he would ever see her again. No grand prophecy about running into her at the 7-11 down the street.   
  
**_Shane_ ** _ : No, you know the rules. Corner café? _   
  
Since living in the overworld, Shane had discovered many things about humans. First of all, if you slip up and call yourself something like Hades, people don’t take you seriously. Shane did some searching on babynames.com to find an average kind of name for a male. Shane seemed like a pretty good name, and so that’s what he became. Eventually, it was natural to refer to himself as Shane, but in his slip up period, he hadn’t made any friends.   
  
Well, he had made one friend.   
  
**_Sara_ ** _ : okay fine… just so you know, your “rules” are dumb _ .   
  
Sara was like a blessing. Shane had thought it was a good idea when he came up to the overworld to start his search via dating apps. Truthfully, he just didn’t know how or where to start searching, and he already had a curiosity about human dating, so he figured it wouldn’t hurt to try it out. He’d made a profile for himself, and the only person to actually respond and come through was Sara. They chatted online for hours at a time, and finally met up at a café.   
  
Shane already knew that Sara wasn’t Persephone before they even physically met. He was sure that when he found her again, something in his chest would ignite- like a match to gasoline. He was sure of it. When he started messaging Sara, he’d been excited, but nothing seemed to click. They went on two dates before he told her this. Well, he told her that he didn’t think they were gonna work out, but followed it up with a friendship invitation, claiming he needed a friend because he was “new in town”. Sara had taken it really well, she almost seemed relieved when he asked if they could just be friends.    
  
**_Shane_ ** _ : you know you like them ;) see you there. _   
  
Sara was interested in finding out more about him. She figured out quickly enough that he was looking for someone specific, not just anyone. Not someone he hadn’t met yet. Maybe it had been the faraway look in his eyes when he happened to see a flower shop. Maybe it was the desperate arch of his shoulders, always looking, head held up in search. Somehow, she knew, and she just wanted to help.   
  
They were meeting today for coffee, like usual. Shane threw on a flannel and sweater with jeans. Feeling comfortable, he grabbed his wallet and laptop bag.

He discovered quite quickly that he couldn’t do much in the overworld without some form of currency, and apparently gold coins were a thing of the past, so he had to make due. He found a place that traded jewelry for cash, and happily traded some lesser crafts for enough money to live in the overworld. To him, jewels weren't the precious commodity that they were to humans. He held riches beyond human comprehension. An ivory throne, silk drapes, diamond crowns- anything you could imagine. Anyone else would be happy. But here he was, decades- no, centuries later looking for a woman who had killed herself to escape him. Sometimes he wondered if this was all worth it. Sometimes he wondered if she even wanted to see him again.

Well there was one way to find out.   
  
The street his apartment was on was nearly always packed with people. Restaurants and businesses and vendors lined the sidewalks. Even after months of living in the same place, Shane couldn't stop feeling shaken every time he had to push through those crowds. An upside to the underworld, his castle wasn't crowded. Directly across from the cafe was the entrance to a fairly large park. Like, the kind of park with forest and animals and history. He'd been in it a few times, mostly out of curiosity, but not for very long. However, as he approached the cafe today, there was a feeling deep in his gut that told him it might be worth it to travel down some path and get lost inside.   
  
The café door jingled when he entered, and he saw a girl lift her head. She had short, curly hair was had been dyed a deep purple. She immediately beamed at him, waving him over. Shane went and saw that she had a number on her table.   
  
“Order something already?” he asked, sitting down.   
  
“Oh, don’t worry, I got you something,” she grinned. “You like tea, right?”   
  
He blushed at the thoughtfulness. “Y-yeah, I love tea.”   
  
“Oh! I’m glad I remembered, haha,” she said. “I got you tea. I figured, since I was already here…”   
  
“That’s very nice of you,” he scratched the back of his neck. “Oh, how are you?”   
  
Sara shrugged one shoulder and absently picked at a peeling bit of paint on the table. “Eh, I’m okay, better now that I have company!”   
  
Shane moved his chair a little closer to her, draping an arm over her shoulder. “Oh, what happened?”   
  
“Just another date fell through,” she muttered. “It’s so hard to find someone these days.”   
  
“Oh yeah, tell me about it,” he laughed. She smiled up at him. Their conversation was interrupted by a server coming over and asking them if this was their order, and set down a tray. The tray had a steaming cup of tea, a mug of coffee, a bagel, and a bowl of yogurt with oats and fruit. Sara nodded enthusiastically, and the server left them, taking the number on their table.   
  
“Is that all yours?” Shane asked, but then she handed him the bagel and cup of tea.   
  
“Oops, looks like I got more food than I can eat…” she muttered, trying not to grin. Shane blushed.   
  
“You didn’t need to get this…” he said, but smiled about it anyways. After making friends with Sara, Shane had realized how lonely he’d been all by himself for so long. It was good to have a friend. In the underworld, he never had any friends. Well, he didn’t try and make any either, but still.   
  
“Well, I needed to pay you back for all those things you’ve done for me!” she insisted. Her hand ghosted over the necklace she was currently wearing. It was a small diamond moonstone on a silver chain. The moonstone was one of his favorite gemstones, and he basically hoarded them in his palace. They always gave off a calming aura, or at least it seemed like it. It reminded him of the underworld, the good parts of it. Like standing on the white shore of the great river Acheron. Unlike Styx, Acheron was peaceful and pleasant. The yang to Styx’s yin.   
  
He’d given her that necklace the day after they decided to just be friends. He wanted to thank her for sticking around. There weren’t many people who did that for him.   
  
“Oh, you don’t have to,” he smiled, before spreading some cream cheese on his bagel. “But this bagel will do just fine.”   
  
They talked for a bit, sipping their drinks and simply enjoying each other’s company. Eventually, though, the pull from earlier came back. Like a magnet in his gut, being attracted to something in the woods across the street. He gazed out the window, feeling himself zone out. He imagined his beautiful wife, the night before she killed herself. She was wearing a gorgeous crimson sheer dress, roses and sticks of red berries woven into her hair. The last place he saw her was when he had left her lounging on their bed, neck red from kisses, blinking sleepily up at him.   
  
He shouldn’t have left her that night. He hadn’t been that busy, it could’ve waited, whatever it was. That had been so long ago. He’d let so many memories go, but not that one. Her dark eyes, heavy lashes, the curve of her body, the softness in her voice. It was all so clear, and yet, he had overlooked all the signs.   
  
She hadn’t really been happy with him. There was always something calling her away. She was like a caged bird, a chained animal. She sang and smiled and laid down to be touched, but it was all for show. She might have loved him, but he wasn’t enough. He had never been enough, and he never would be. He didn’t own her, because no one could ever own such a spirit.   
  
“Earth to Shane,” he was brought back by a hand waving in front of his face. Sara looked at him quizzically.   
  
“Something on your mind, buddy?” she asked. He felt his chest tighten when he looked away from the window.    
  
“Oh, nothing,” he said, trying to shake off the feeling. He didn't want to be rude and just leave. He enjoyed Sara’s company. She was sad, and she bought him a bagel.

“Hey, if something's up, you can tell me, you know?” She said, and Shane smiled at her. As their conversation continued, he wished he could just tell her. Tell her about the underworld, about his true search. She felt so familiar, yet so foreign. She was an enigma, liking him despite his flaws; maybe even because of them. But if he told her who he truly was he feared her reaction.

How do you tell a mortal who has never known God that you are one? They haven't even spoken of faith, but what if she didn't even believe in the Gods-- or believed in a different God? She was his only friend here, he didn't want to lose that.

After a while more of talking and complaining about their love lives, Sara looked like she wanted to go. Shane still felt that urge-- the urge to explore the park across the street. It hadn't gone away or dwindled in intensity the whole time. He buzzed with energy at the prospect of going in.

“Hey, tomorrow, do you wanna do movie night? At my place?” She asked, as they were getting up to leave. Shane smiled softly.

“I would love that. Got any movies planned?” He asked. Sara beamed at his answer.

“Yeah! I have a few good ones picked out!” she said excitedly. She rambled on until they finally parted ways at the door, enthused about their movie night. Shane was excited as well. He loved to experience hang culture as it evolved. Ever since movies started being a thing, they were always so fascinating to him.

“See you tomorrow!” He called after Sara. She waved back at him as she left. Shane checked his watch.

4:00 p.m.

He looked on into the trees across the street. They still seemed to call out to him, despite his negligence so far. She must be in there- the reincarnation of his wonderful, beautiful wife. He wondered what she'd be like in a new body, with a new mind. He was sure he'd recognize her immediately… right?

A cold fear settled down in his stomach as he crossed the street. What if he didn't recognize her? What if he walked right past her or let her get away? He'd been searching all this time. He thought he knew her, but did he really?

Shane shook his head. He would get to that when it comes. Right now, he was going into this forest, and he was going to find her.

_ Please be here, Persephone _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have any songs for the playlist i'm making, please feel free to leave a comment here or message/ask me on tumblr (@crimsxnflxwerz)


	3. but i feel safe here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mortal emotions were so complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (6/30/18 edit:: made revisions to this chapter as well)

It wasn’t the first time he’d been in a mortal forest. Most lively forests were in the overworld. The ones in the underworld were all dead, nothing but stark black stalks standing like metal rails, preventing passage between the segments of the realm. In the underworld, beasts lived in these places, so they weren’t readily traversed by any soul who wished to stay uncorrupted. Cerberus was born in the dark forests, his three-headed pup who was infamous as a ferocious beast that guards his palace and the river Styx.   
  
Although, many of the beasts weren’t like their legends proclaim. Cerberus was a lovable and loyal friend. He wouldn’t consider the beast his pet, that would imply ownership. Not even Gods really owned anything besides their realm, and even then, it wasn’t the kind of ownership that meant they could dictate or change anything about it. All they did was observe and protect. He protected Cerberus from the other gods, sometimes protected him from the other beasts as well. In return, Cerberus made sure no soul left his domain, and no tricksters entered.   
  
When Persephone had been in the underworld, he expected the animal to hate her, as he often held a distaste for the overworld that shunned him. However, the mighty beast, upon sniffing her, immediately rolled over and exposed his soft stomach for petting. He adored Persephone for the entirety of her stay. Persephone also held a love for the animal, often going to him if she wanted to be alone, or just wanted to cheer herself up. He often wondered what she would have thought of Cerberus when he was only a newborn. A mass of wriggling shadows, unsure of what form to take, desperate for guidance. Shane was the one to dictate his form and ultimately guide him through his first decade of life. Cerberus was a fickle creature, the species a rare one that changed shape until it found a suitable form that it could hold. It was entirely possible that Cerberus could change his shape once again anytime it pleased, but the transformations are painful and ultimately not worth it. Shane wasn’t sure where the creature came from, but has taken care of it ever since it appeared to him.   
  
The overworld’s forests weren’t like that. In fact, there weren’t a single beast like Cerberus in the overworld, even the rare, fantastic ones.   
  
The trees here were thick and fat, their bark peeling in patterns, things living on them- within them. Every part of the forest was alive. Even the bones of the trees, with all their leaves and cover shed, appeared livelier than those ashen, black stalks.   
  
Shane wasn’t sure where he was walking, if he was being honest. Leaves and things crunched underfoot as he walked, off the trail, stepping over fallen trunks and underbrush. There were some dense patches of trees and random piles of rocks and boulders. He was following his gut at this point, and his gut was telling him to go further, that she was just around the corner.   
  
Coming around a cluster of trees, he noticed that down a hill a little way was the remains of a stone house. He felt drawn to it, so he went down to check it out. The house was mostly intact. The roof looked like it had caved in at some time, random boards and wooden beams sticking up out of the mess of slate tiles. The walls looked to be a collection of river stones and boulders cemented together. It gave the house a feeling like it had just popped up out of the ground one day. Its windows were wooden portholes, all the glass either shattered or gone completely, leaving only the rotted cross of damp wood. Out of curiosity, Shane peaked into one of the portholes. It was too dark inside to see anything, aside from thin trails of sunlight catching the edges of the room. When he stepped away from the window, he snapped a twig under his shoe. The noise was quite loud and abrupt. He heard the frantic fluttering of bird wings, scared away by his mere presence.   
  
He went to go around the corner, when he suddenly heard footsteps running in his direction. His curiosity got the better of him and he stood very still in order to see who it was. From around the edge of the house rounded a boy. But that was all he could make out before the other body had toppled into him, bringing them both hard to the ground.   
  
Shane found himself looking up at the sky through the trees, his back aching slightly, and a heavy weight settled on his chest. He felt a head resting under his collar, an ear pressed over his heart, soft breathing moving slowly against him. Their legs were tangled together, and the boy’s hands were braced between Shane’s chest and his own.   
  
It lasted for about three seconds, before the boy was urgently tugging himself away. After the boy had detangled himself from Shane, he felt suspiciously cold. The weight hadn’t been bad, the close proximity of another body rather pleasant.   
  
He quickly snapped himself out of it, standing up as well.   
  
“You okay?” he asked the spooked boy. Well, now that he looked closer, he could tell the other person was an adult. It was hard to differentiate at first, with the person’s clean shave and soft face and short stature. The man looked back at him like a deer caught in headlights, eyes wide and frightened. Shane noticed that his eyes were a warm, dark brown. Lots of his brethren always fell in love with green-eyed does and blue-eyed birds- but he felt himself attracted to the subtle heat of brown. It was earthy, dark, but vibrant. Green was the grass, but brown was the dirt that held all the ingredients to keep it alive.   
  
“I—I, yeah,” he stuttered. His voice was pretty nice as well, a little shaky, but nice. “Uh—sorry about that. I heard something. I realize now that the something was probably you.”   
  
Shane grinned, although he tried to keep his creepiness to a minimum. He didn’t want to scare away this young faun. “Sorry to startle you, I was just looking around.”   
  
“O—oh, well, so you like abandoned buildings?” he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. Shane gave a scoff of a laugh.   
  
“Well, I like the woods, and this just happen to be in the woods.” He said. The man seemed to absorb this information for a moment, and then nodded slowly. “My name is Shane, by the way.”   
  
He extended his hand for a handshake. The man eyed it skeptically, but then grasped his hand firmly. “I’m Ryan.”   
  
“It’s nice to meet you, Ryan.”

* * *

When Ryan had run headfirst into the man in the woods, it was as if his entire world had slowed to a stop. The birds stopped chirping, the leaves stopped rustling, the wind died down, and all the insects were silent. The only thing he could hear was the slow beating heart of the body pressed against his.

  
It was like coming home. The smell, the feel, a deep, warm musk that surrounded him pleasantly, invading his senses and forcing a rush of mixed emotions through his body. When he had lost that contact, it was almost painful. One moment, feeling every inch of his skin tingle in anticipation, the next second all the noise in the world came back to him at once, overwhelming him.   
  
But stepping back, he got a good look at the man. He was tall, with shaggy brown hair and a soft, subtle stubble. He looked well-kept, but something underneath his skin was wild in a way that he couldn’t exactly explain.   
  
Shane, what a normal name. Not that normal names were bad, but he had been somehow expecting something more exciting. Shane sounded like it came right off of babynames.com or something, although he had to admit the man did look like a Shane.   
  
Ryan stared down at the man’s hand, wondering if he really wanted to touch him again. After that run in, he was not only embarrassed, but also confused. Why had he felt like that? Usually, when he messed up in public, his entire body went cold, and then he frantically looked for the nearest exit. But when he and Shane had tumbled down into the leaves and dirt, Ryan had felt perfectly content to lay there, soaking up his body heat until the day came to a rest and the owls sang their lullabies.   
  
Cautiously, he reached out and grabbed Shane’s hand. Immediately, like a wave hitting him in the chest, he was assaulted by contradicting feelings. Feelings of shame and guilt, like a hot iron rod poking him in the side. Anger and frustration, a cooler, frosty isolation sending shivers up his spine. A tight, sharp lust in the pit of his stomach, latching like a seed. All these things, wrapped in a thin netting of comfort and familiarity that held it all together.   
  
This man he’d never met before had dragged these feelings, kicking and screaming, from some deep and ancient part of his soul. When their eyes met, he could see himself reflected back at him.   
  
So, he hadn’t felt any of that.   
  
The emotional recoil almost made him shake. He felt the urge to vomit as his stomach rolled uncomfortably. It reminded him of a character unveiling memories from their past life, although no memories came to him, only the strong, potent emotions that had been attached to them. He tasted bile in the back of his throat. He wished Shane had felt those things. Now, he just felt crazy.   
  
Shoving down all the tingly things for later, he pulled away from the handshake and smiled. Well, it was more like a grimace. Shane didn’t seem to notice, though.   
  
“Where you headed somewhere?” Ryan asked nervously. Shane looked off past him into the woods, looking kind of distant, before glancing down at himself and seeing that he was covered in dirt and debris. He brushed his clothes off.   
  
“No, just walking,” he said stiffly. It was pretty obvious that he was lying, but it wasn’t Ryan’s place to press him for info. “What about you?”   
  
“Oh, I was just recording some stuff for a new video,” he said, accidentally relaying too much excitement into his words. He grimaced again, he should know better than to wear his heart on his sleeve, but Shane simply laughed. It sounded nice—familiar almost.   
  
“A video? What do you like to make videos of?” the tension in Ryan seemed to melt away at the curiosity coming from the taller man. Ryan wasn’t the most social person, and he was often made fun of for making videos in the woods like a weirdo. There was something about this man. Maybe it was the feelings he seemed to unhinge, maybe it was the gentle way he spoke and held himself. Whatever it was, Ryan felt more relaxed around him than he would any other complete stranger.   
  
“Want to walk with me? I’ll tell you about it,” he offered. Shane nodded and followed Ryan along a path. They talked, pausing periodically to take pictures of wildlife and film the nature moving and living around them. Ryan was kind of disappointed when they were nearing the end of their walk and he hadn’t been approached by a single animal this time around. It always made for a more interesting video. Although, he couldn’t say he was surprised. He wasn’t alone.   


As they exited the woods where Ryan had walked in, he put his camera into his bag.

“Hey, I live right down the street here,” he began impulsively. “Want to stop by? I can make us some coffee, or tea?”

Ryan shuffled nervously at the prospect of bringing this stranger he just met into his home. He wasn't sure why he even offered, but something deep within him had won over his speech and just went for it. Shane looked on in surprise, as if he were stunned by the offer. Of course he was! They just met! He must think it's weird, right?

Shane gave him a friendly smile, but then shook his head. “You know, I should get going. Got some work to catch up on.”

Ryan simultaneously felt relief and disappointment at the answer. He nodded. “Yeah, yeah, that's okay man. You live around here?”

Ryan felt himself itch to take out his phone or write down his number on a piece of paper or even Shane's arm or something- but the want never got to stage two, which was actually acting on it.

“Yeah, I do. I live on the other side of the park, actually.” Shane said. “Maybe we could go for a drink sometime. You know the seashell bar?”

Ryan didn't know what to say, so he nodded instead. Yeah he knew the seashell. Did he go there at all? No. He didn't have a lot of extra money for drinks.

“I'm there on like Fridays and Saturdays, if you ever want to catch me. Otherwise, I’ll see you around?” He asked. Ryan nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat that desperately wanted to treat this like more than a shady tinder date.

Shane gave a sort of half wave and turned to leave. Ryan watched him go for a minute or two, before turning to walk down the street as well. As he walked he felt a hollowness in the pit of his stomach, the weird feelings returning. From deep inside him, they came forth, like vines wrapping around his insides, digging their thorns into his heart. Who was that man? Why had he been in the woods when Ryan was there? Why did he feel so familiar? He was sure he’d never seen him before in his life.   
  
He couldn’t put his finger on it, but even the man’s name seemed wrong. Like there was another name hidden beneath the surface. Like the person he saw was only a shell, a skin that hid what laid dormant and asleep inside of him.   
  
During the walk back, Ryan daydreamed. He daydreamed of long, black hair and skin as pale as bone. Of deep, dark forests with huge, black trees like iron gates. Of animals that eclipsed buildings, of wailing souls, of rooms holding more gold and precious stones that anyone could imagine. He daydreamed of cold, bright eyes watching him; of soft, chapped lips tracing the line of his jaw, of the pads of fingertips trailing down his spine. He daydreamed of these things as the feelings grew stronger, like flowers blooming in his head, making it hard to think about the present, making it hard to think at all. He arrived at his apartment and climbed the stairs to his space in a daze.   
  
The daydreaming and swamp of feelings had put him in a poor headspace. He changed and sat down at his kitchen table with a bowl of cereal. Rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes and up against his temples, he sighed. When he fell into these moods, it wasn’t as simple as stepping outside or watching cute cat videos on the internet or some shit. He got this way when he was feeling a little distant. Dysphoric, his therapist had told him, when he used to go to one. Like he was drifting outside of his body, like his body didn’t belong to him, like nothing belonged to him. Like the world around him didn’t want him there; taking up space, breathing oxygen.   
  
He took two bites of his cereal, then dumped it in the sink to clean up later. He brewed himself a cup of coffee in his favorite mug. Maybe a movie would help, he thought, so he wandered over to his couch and tv. He let his fingers drift over the spines of DVD and Blu-ray disks pressed together on a shelf where his tv sat. He had a huge Disney collection. Whenever he could, he would buy his favorite Disney films to watch over and over again. His favorite was Mulan, a woman who was brave enough to be someone else to protect her father. A woman, different from the others, strong and true. It might be cheesy, but her moment of insecurity before deciding to join in her father's place as a man always helped him through his episodes.

_ When will my reflection show, who I am inside? _

Ryan popped the Mulan disk into his DVD player and snuggled back onto the couch with his coffee. He thought about making popcorn, but couldn't be bothered to get back up. The opening scene began to play, and Ryan settled in for a calming evening.

* * *

After he’d left Ryan behind, he felt himself become lost again. He’d wondered into those woods to find Persephone. Something in his body had told him to go in there, that maybe she was there, that maybe he would find her. His instincts were wrong, apparently, because she wasn’t there. However, the feeling had left by now. So continuing to search was out of the question.   
  
He would feel disappointed, but he found himself smiling despite it, because he had met that man named Ryan.   
  
Shane wondered if he'd see the man again. He had given him information about his favorite bar to hang out at on Friday nights. And he knew what street the guy lived on. He could maybe even ask around to get the guys full name. There couldn't be that many Ryan's around here, could there?

He knew he wasn't here to make friends. He was hurting, and all this was a distraction from his goal, his top priority. The only person he needed was himself. Well, and maybe Sara. He allowed her to stick around, because he didn't have the heart to leave her behind. There was something comforting about her; love, but not romantic. A familial feeling that he never actually got from his family. Like she was his sister, but better, because his actual sisters were all pretty terrible.   
  
If Sara was a goddess, she would be Hestia. Small, warm, and loyal. Fierce in her resolve, but soft with her words. She was one of his only sisters that he actually felt he could hold any familial love with. Though, it wasn’t like the two of them had a bond. She kept to her spaces, and he kept to his. He was sure if Sara was a goddess, she would also keep away from him. If she knew who he truly was, she would sneer at his presence, turn her head away at his attempts at friendship.   
  
In this body, this disguise, he was allowed to make contact with others in a way that he’d never been able to do before. As Hades, at worst people hated him, at best they feared him. Now, as Shane, he was just another lanky, funny guy with a slanted smile and lazy disposition.   
  
It made it easier to look at people, see them for who they really are. Each day Shane spent up here in the overworld, he fell in love with it a little more. It was different than what he was used to, but that wasn’t a bad thing. Maybe if he stayed here, learned about this world, lived with these people, he would have a better grasp on why Persephone did what she did. Was she free here, in the overworld? That was so long ago, and she was still watched pretty heavily by her mother. Maybe she wanted him to take her away, only to realize that she had just landed herself in the same cage she had been in before. Same cage, different look. As much as he hated Demeter, she had kept Persephone safe from the other gods who would have liked to take advantage of her beauty. She had tried to protect her from everything, but she hadn’t expected him.   
  
That was the point, though. He wasn’t much for thievery, tricks, and traitors like his brothers. He wasn’t much for leaving his domain, pretending to own everything his presence touched. Things he touched tended to die anyways. He was better known to watch from afar, taking all the whispers and loneliness with a grain of salt. They never expected him to come forth, to take something so selfishly. He dealt in death, in the traverse of souls, he didn’t dare break the surface, did he?   
  
It wasn’t like he couldn’t come up. No, that wasn’t why he stayed underneath. They didn’t even need him down there, all he did was bargain with demigods and watch his siblings make a mess of the world from the sanctuary of his palace. The judges sorted the souls, the beasts kept visitors from leaving. He was the face, the front; taking the weight of the external judgment, shouldering the burden alone, but he was only that. A mascot, an emblem, a symbol.   
  
In the overworld, he was just Shane. A person with a body, with a soul. A person doing something. He could see the appeal now.   
  
He bet wherever Persephone was, whoever she was, she felt free. She may not have immortality, she may not know where she came from, who she had been, who had loved her, but she had what mattered most. That was choice.   
  
He felt his heart clench a little at that. It wasn’t the first time he figured that she was happier without him. It sometimes forced him back, took chunks out of his search. When he started feeling like this, he usually retreated back to the underworld, sought the familiar cold of his throne, the vast emptiness of his chambers he’d come to appreciate.   
  
Shane laughed humorlessly. He wouldn't let a little set back throw him into a mood again. This was the farthest he'd ever gotten. He couldn't let that slip away now.

He rounded the corner onto his street, his apartment a few blocks away. He flicked through some dating apps on his phone. Maybe he could look for her again tonight. The feeling that she was here had dimmed significantly after meeting with Ryan, but he couldn't give up hope. He swiped through some profiles, but none caught his eye.   
  
Maybe he should’ve given Ryan his phone number. The man had been attractive in a way he hadn't been expecting. Ryan, with his soft, brown eyes. Some random kid in the woods who was shy and friendly and interesting, with his videos and stories and such. There was something about Ryan. Something about him that he just couldn't put his finger on. Something important...   
  
Mortal emotions were so complicated.   
  
Once in his apartment, he threw himself on his bed. He looked over to his wall-length mirror, a gate that lead right to his palace chambers when he touched it. He resisted the urge to go back. No, he was going to stay here. One fruitless day wasn’t going to turn him away. He was going to find her, he knew it. Where ever she was—whoever she was—he would find her again.   
  
He would search forever if he had to. Forever. But for now, he thought a nap was in order.


	4. they'd be lying if they said I hadn't died

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane gets some unexpected visitors and Ryan does some research

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY before you read this chapter, look back at the second and third chapters because i changed them !! thanks for reading!!!

Shane was woken up by the sound of rustling coming from outside his room. He must’ve been tired after the encounter in the woods, because he had completely passed out. Waking up now, it was dark outside, the only light the soft yellowed glow of aged streetlights trickling into his window. He jolted up into a sitting position as the rustling grew louder. He could faintly make out some voices, as well. A cold sweat started at his collar. If they were robbers, he would just let them take what they want. His apartment wasn’t really worth breaking into, since he didn’t tend to keep artifacts here. His castle was safer, and more suitable, for the things he cherished. However, if they found his portal and fell into the underworld- that would be bad news for them. Any mortal who enters his kingdom will die if fancy taking any mementos or feasting on the fruit of the land. The spell on the land was powerful, not even he could reverse such a thing. It was different for other gods and even demigods. They could bargain with the land and the judges- but humans. Their souls were a dime a dozen.

Shane cautiously got up. He didn’t want to be armed, so he resisted the urge to pick up anything he could use as a weapon. He knew by now which boards in the floor squeaked and which didn’t. He tiptoed across the parts of the floor that would be the most silent, and gently turned the knob of his bedroom door.

Once he opened the door, he noticed that the apartment lights were still on. He furrowed his brow- he could have sworn he’d turned those off. Then he realized that all the shuffling and noises had ceased. Confused, he wandered around his apartment freely. Nothing. The only place left to check was the kitchen. He poked his head in, and nearly yelped in surprise.

There were four men in his kitchen. Two were seated at his kitchen table, one was leaning against the counter, and the last one was looking in his fridge. The man leaning against the counter was lean-bodied with tanned skin. He wore tight black jeans, a white shirt, and a black half-vest. A glass of red wine balanced on his fingers. His eyes were gold- the color of Gods.

“Dionysus?” Shane asked. He recognized that one first, even though he looked very different in his human form. Different from the long, flowing black hair and sheer tunics.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” he said with a smirk. His eyes were sharp as he looked Shane up and down. “What are you doing, clowning around in the overworld for so long?”

“Yeah, of all people to fool around in the overworld, we hardly thought it’d be you,” one of the men at the kitchen table said. He was of shorter stature with a sweater on and lighter jeans. He had short, light brown hair, and wore a gold wedding band on his ring finger. He had the same gold eyes. Next to him, the other man looked on in amusement.  He had glasses and darker brown hair. He wore an arrow patterned button up with cargo shorts.

“Hera, and Artemis?” he asked, bewildered. “Why are you all here?”

“Well, I’m here because I heard that someone was slacking off in the overworld,” the man who had been looking through the fridge appeared. He must not have found anything interesting, because he had a disappointed look on his face. “You know how I love to know everyone’s business.”

The last man was tall and thin. He wore fitted, gold dress pants and a white shirt with a gold blazer.

“And Apollo. Wow, what a mess of a group.” Shane scoffed. Dionysus narrowed his eyes and took a sip of wine.

“Talk about mess,” he said, gesturing towards the apartment. “What have you been doing all this time?”

Shane felt the cold sweat return. Why were these other Gods here? Just to bug him about what he’s been up to? He’s pretty sure he’s never spoken to most of them, let alone divulged any information to them. He wondered briefly if Zeus had put them up to it.

“I’m just curious about the overworld like everyone else.” He said through his teeth. “Zeus practically lives here permanently. I wanted to see what it was all about.”

“You hate people,” Artemis said. Shane shot him a look. He was right, though. It wasn’t uncalled for to question his behavior as of recent. It had been so long since Persephone left them. Since then, he never spent enough time up here to call any other Gods to question him. A week or two at most. Not even long enough to properly name his human form. He wasn’t the most social person, as anyone could tell.

“Yes, but there are other things to see besides people.” He argued. Dionysus rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his wine, only to have his glass instantly refilled.

“I know why you’re here,” he smirked. Shane grimaced. Of course, of all Gods, Dionysus would have him figured out. That drunk, you’d think he’d be braindead by now with all his drinking, but he’s surprisingly perceptive. “You’re looking for Persephone.”

The other Gods in the room gasped. Hera looked the most surprised, Apollo looked interested, Artemis looked slightly confused.

“Hades,” Hera said after a heavy pause. “You don’t think she’s… here?” Shane grit his teeth.

“I feel her. I _know_ she’s here.” He said. “This isn’t some game. I’ve been in the overworld for six months this time. _I’m going to find her_.”

Artemis finally spoke up. “Who is Persephone?” he asked. Everyone looked at him except for Shane. Apollo spoke up next.

“Persephone is the daughter of Demeter. She was Hades’ wife a long time ago, but then she walked into the river Styx and gave up her immortality.” He explained. Shane grimaced at the explanation.

“She wanted so desperately to be free. She hated being someone’s something.” Dionysus said. “I could understand the feeling. Demeter didn’t allow her to go anywhere or do anything. She was so pure and gentle, and Demeter wasn’t going to let the other God’s corrupt her. And then Hades burst from the ground and kidnapped her. From then on, she was but token, a caged bird. She was Demeter’s daughter or Hades wife. She was never Persephone.”

Shane swallowed down the anger and bile in his throat. That story was even worse, albeit true. He regretted what he did to Persephone. He was just so in love with her, blinded by it, one might say.

“I just want to find her,” Shane said softly. He was surprised by how broken he sounded. “I want to make this right. If it means parting ways forever, then so be it. I just want to see her again. Offer to bring her immortality back.”

Hera looked surprised by that. “You can do that?” he asked. Shane looked on curiously.

“Yes, I can restore her immortality if she so wishes. It is something that my siblings and I can do.” He said. “We have limited resources with that, but I don’t just give it out to any random mortal, so I should be good.”

“What if we helped you?” Artemis asked, looking almost excited. Shane’s eyes widened.

“You what?” he asked. Dionysus raised his glass.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea! Yes, let’s help.” He took a gulp of wine. “Have room for four more in this humble abode?”

Shane gaped at them. “No! This is a one-bedroom apartment!”

“Any apartments close, then?” he asked. Shane shook his head.

“No, this is crazy! I don’t need your help, I’ve been fine so far on my own.” He didn’t want them intruding on his business. He was getting close- what if they messed it all up?

“Oh, I didn’t know you were so successful. How long has it been? 2,500 years?” Dionysus joked humorlessly. He took another gulp of wine. “Look, I’ve already thought about my mortal name. I was thinking Eugene. Do I look like a Eugene?”

Artemis nodded happily. “What about me?”

Dionysus looked him up and down. “How about Zack? And Hera can be Edward.”

Hera crinkled his nose. “What about just Ned?” The rest of them nodded. Shane groaned and went to brew a pot of coffee.

“I’ll be Keith,” Apollo said. “That’s a good, modern name, right?” Shane leaned against the sink.

“Are you really going to help me, or are you just going to get in my way?” Shane snapped. The Gods looked surprised by his seriousness. Dionysus, or Eugene now, came forward then and placed a hand on his chest. Shane almost recoiled but then decided to hold his ground.

“I will do everything in my power to bring back our little princess,” he said, then Shane could see something that almost looked like a mischievous glint in his eye. “Or prince.”

Shane’s eyes widened. Or prince. He hadn’t even thought about that. The God’s rebirth process didn’t take gender into account.

“Okay fine,” Shane sighed. “I’ll help you look for apartments.”

The Gods cheered in agreement.

* * *

When Ryan finally fell out of his Disney-induced movie coma he saw that it was past 10 o’clock. The last movie he’d watched was Hercules. The story of kidnapping, romance, and honor. Personally, Hercules himself wasn't the most interesting character. He preferred watching Megara. For the love interest, she had a lot of backstory and things going for her. He loved her sultry voice, her cold exterior, and her playful quips. Yeah, she was a damsel in distress, but she was engaging. He felt himself loving her, clumsily, not unlike how Hercules came to have feelings for her as well. He wondered if Megara was anything like she was in ancient mythology. All he knew about her in myth was the surface level stuff. She was married to Hercules, bore him two children, and all three were murdered when Hera cursed Hercules with temporary madness. But what else? Who was Megara? Just a tool or gift to trade between men? Was that what all women were in ancient Greece?

Sometimes he liked to wonder what it would have been like to live back then. Would he have disguised himself as a man and went to war? Would he had been born to a royal family and sold to the highest bidder? Or maybe he would’ve been a poor maid, rape and killed by invaders? None of those sounded very good. People always romanticize ancient culture, but it would have been hell for someone like him. Someone who felt displaced in their own body.

Maybe he would have been the town fool. Or maybe he could have persuaded everyone that he was an oracle or shaman and just been high all the time and told bullshit prophecies.

That last one might have been fun.

Ryan took his empty mug to the sink and cleaned up the rest of the dishes laying around. Tomorrow was Friday. He had work from 7am to 2:30, so he figured he'd better get some sleep. He just hoped he didn't have that nightmare again.

He sped through getting ready and hopped I to bed, setting his alarm for 5:30am. Snuggling into the comforter, it didn't take him long to drift off.

_He blinked open his eyes sleepily and stretched out to his full length. The material that brushed against his body was soft, thick fur. He slid his fingers through it before clenching his fist tightly. He sat up suddenly, recognizing that he wasn't in his bed any longer._

_The room he was in was large and dark with high ceilings. The walls looked to be carved from black marble, glinting softly in the candle light. The bed was large and covered in exotic furs._

_“What?” He whispered. He shifted and looked down at himself. He was still in his own body, but he wore a sheer red dress. As he was looking, a small, white flower fell from his hair into his lap. He looked around the room again and spotted a mirror facing the bed. He looked at himself, and gasped. He looked the same, yet different. His hair was longer, decorated with small flowers and an elegant wooden hair piece. His skin was softer, and it shimmered as if he were dusted in gold freckles. The sheer dress was the only clothing he wore, nothing underneath._

_The most different thing about him was his eyes. They were a bright, beautiful gold. It was a color he’d never seen before. It was unreal. He was about to move towards the mirror for a closer look when he heard the door to the room open._

_In stepped a man. He was tall, dressed in black robes that paled his skin out to an ashen white. His black hair was long and straight, cascading over his shoulders and down his back. He had a familiar face, a lovely face, with high cheekbones and chapped lips. He smiled, his eyes softening as he looked at him. His gaze was gold as well. It was almost haunting, especially on him._

_“You look gorgeous tonight, my love.” He spoke, and it was smooth and sent shivers down his back. Ryan sighed and fell back down into the furs, his body relaxing despite his brain telling him that he was nearly nude in front of this stranger. An attractive stranger, but still._

_“It's been a long day, love. I'm sorry I couldn't spend more time with you.” He shook his head, closing his eyes briefly and drifting over to sit on the edge of the bed. He reached out and ran his fingers along Ryan's chin. “but we have all night, if you wish to have me.”_

_Ryan felt his heart leap into his throat and a hot coil of arousal in the pit of his stomach. Why was he so turned on right now? This man was a stranger, wasn't he? But he was beautiful, and his touch felt like home, and his body reacted so eagerly to every word._

_Ryan sat up and looked heatedly into the man’s eyes. He leaned forward and pulled at the collar of the man’s robe. He smiled and untied his clothes, letting them fall off his shoulders and onto the bed. Ryan let himself get pushed backwards, lips trailing from the corner of his mouth down to his neck and collar. He gasped at a sudden pain from a particularly rough bite, but it only aroused him further. He grabbed the man's hand and guided it to the space between his thighs._

_“So eager, my love,” he whispered sweetly in his ear. Ryan turned to putty at the man's gentle caress. “I love you, Persephone.”_

Ryan jolted awake, this time, in his own bed. His whole body ached with the lingering arousal from that dream, but he was also confused. What was that dream? It had felt so real. Every touch, every sensation, that man--

That man. He had looked so familiar. In fact, he sort of reminded him of that guy he’d met yesterday. Shane, right?

But why him? Was he somehow connected to these dreams he was having? What about that name, Persephone? Why were people calling him that in these dreams? Who was that?

Shaking himself out of the post-dream haze, he felt the strange arousal leave him. Speaking of that, he thought that it was strange that he was suddenly having very detailed wet dreams. He never really was the type for wet dreams, let alone ones _that_ clear and tangible. It was almost like a memory, it was so real.

He was too tired to think it out, so he stored the experience away with the rest of the strange happenings and went to check the time on his phone.

2:42 a.m.

He had to wake up in 3 hours to start getting ready for work. But could he go back to sleep after that dream? It was at times like these that he wished he had some sort of pet. He loved dogs. His mother had a dachshund when he was little named Buster. After he passed away, Ryan swore he would get another dachshund when he was older. Dogs just really calmed him down. Maybe he would actually search a bit on Petfinder to look at all his options and get his mind off the dreams and stuff.

However, the longer he tried to get his mind off of it, the more he thought about it. Persephone… the name haunted him. He wasn't a religious man, or very superstitious, but what if that had been his name? In another life? He never really believed in reincarnation, but why would he be having these dreams? Maybe he had been a woman named Persephone in a past life. Married to a beautiful man who was very rich. But this past self must not have been very happy if the drowning dreams were anything to go by.

That dream he just had, though. That was so much different from the drowning one. The man had been gentle, loving, apologetic. What happened to this Persephone that made her want to kill herself? Maybe she was like him… dysphoric, depressed, compulsive. Maybe she had wanted to escape. Even if it looked like she had it all, she could've felt like she had nothing.

Curious, Ryan searched Persephone on his phone. Some images appeared immediately. A curvy woman with tanned skin, dark hair, and covered in flora. She was often depicted with a young faun or fox. She looked so innocent and pure. Some other pictures showed her being kidnapped or carried off in a chariot by a man with long dark hair and black robes. He looked a little more muscular than the man in his dream, with a wider face and more beard, but portraits and sculptures are often exaggerated. A few more pictures later and Ryan started reading about her.

 

 

 

> _Persephone. Daughter of Demeter (goddess of the harvest). Raised by her protective mother who feared the other God's and the world would corrupt her innocence. She rarely saw anyone but her mother and anyplace but her garden._
> 
> _One day, while picking flowers, Persephone was kidnapped by the God of the Underworld, Hades. He brought her to his domain, where he eventually persuaded her to eat the seeds of a pomegranate, thus trapping her under a curse._
> 
> _There are many different stories about why Hades did it. Some would say that he was sick of seeing his brothers take home such glorious prizes. Others would say that he just wanted to upset Demeter. Most people tend to think that Hades was simply lonely and longed for company in a queen._
> 
> _Whatever reason why, eventually Demeter found out and demanded the immediate return of her daughter, or she would lay waste to the Earth by preventing crop growth. Hades did not want to give up his bride, so he struck a bargain with Zeus to let her live with Demeter for six months of the year, and then return to him for the remaining six months._

Ryan scoffed. Just another story about people passing around young women like trophies. Who cares if this so-called Hades is lonely? This Persephone is a person not a pet. Get a dog or something, ya loser.

He was feeling tired again, so he laid down in his bed and plugged his phone back in. Hopefully this time, his sleep would be dreamless.

 


	5. waste years with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shenanigans with the gang. shane gets closer to the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you wont believe this but i've had this chapter like completely written since the end of july.

Ryan woke for work at 5:30 am after a blissfully dreamless sleep. It hadn't been very long, but it was more replenishing than when he was having nightmares about drowning and fever dreams about the Gods.

He left for work, preparing himself for another busy day. He was new to the company where he worked and didn't know many people there. For the most part, he didn't do much of anything, as it was a starter job. He ran around, got people coffee, filed paperwork, the likes. There were a few people there who he enjoyed, though. A designer named Steven, a chef and video editor named Andrew, and a photographer named Adam. Out of those three Andrew was his favorite. Funny, full of stories, great cook. Adam was cool, too. Soft spoken, but when he did say something it was worth listening to. Steven was the most argumentative of the group, but intriguing. He could talk or debate with the man for quite a while on the right subject. Steven also always offered to help him look his best. Ryan was always tempted to take him up on that.

After his daily work duties were done he found himself some nice corner to work on editing his film into a nice video for his channel. He wrote out in a journal what he was planning to say in his voice over later as he edited. In this segment he would point out some interesting species of plants. And in this part he would talk about a childhood memory of a different forest.

Editing videos like this really put him in a different mindset. He was born and raised in the city, but he had family that lived in the wilderness. As soon as he was ten he was being carted off into the uncharted lands of Oregon every summer to spend some quality time with his grandparents. He remembers those times with the clarity of muddy water. When his dysphoria was at its peak he could run off into the thicket of trees behind his grandparents house and disappear for hours, his only company the dew damp trees and the skittish rabbits.

In those woods he met many creatures and critters. His favorite, by far, were the fauns. There were plenty of deer all over the country, but in the deep woods, where all you can see are giant, looming trees and long, untamed grass, they were almost like an entirely new animal. They were gentle, making soft, curious noises whenever he came around. They would bow their heads to sniff around his feet and push their snouts into his palm like dogs begging for a treat.

Nature had always been a huge part of his personality. He cared for stray cats, nursed injured birds back to health, helped foxes get free from hunting traps. He cared for animals like snakes and rats as much as he cared for more enjoyable animals. He respected nature, and it respected him in return.

He didn't know why it was like that, but it was as normal as anything else. At the best of times it was a cool party trick. At the worst it was a minor inconvenience.

As he looked through more content, he eventually came to the footage of him running into Shane. He went to delete it, because that was the obvious thing to do, but something made him pause. He had kept his camera running when he'd run face first into the man, and he happened to catch a full shot of his face. It was blurry, but it was there. And there was something strange about it. He played the video back and saw it again. For a moment, not even a full second, Shane's eyes were gold.

He remembered that moment very clearly. The heat of Shane's body and the crunch of the leaves and the rush of air being knocked from his lungs. The sun was out, but from where Shane was standing, he had been cast in shadow. Ryan knew that in certain types of brown eyes, the sunlight could make them look gold, but that wasn't what was happening. Through the whole shot, the area was dark. How could his eyes be gold?

Unless his dreams were real. And he was the reincarnation of Persephone. And Shane was Hades, come from the Underworld in search of his queen.

Except that, that… was crazy. Gods weren't real. The gold must've been a lens flare or something. Although, he couldn't shake the feeling that something more was going on here. He cut the footage from his video, but saved it in a separate folder anyways.

Maybe the sleep deprivation was finally getting to him. Maybe he needed a drink. He wondered if any of his old college buddies wanted to go out tonight.

Or-- he could meet Shane at the Seashell.

It was Friday, he would be there, right? This could be his chance to meet him for real, have a friendly conversation with him, and maybe even figure this all out. But maybe, there wasn't anything to figure out. What if he just had an overactive imagination lately? Maybe he shouldn't have stopped seeing that therapist.

Either way, he was going to go to the Seashell. He would talk to Shane, have a good time, and get his number. He jotted down some final notes for his video and tucked his journal away before his manager came over and scolded him again.

 _You can do this, Ryan,_ he thought. _It's just some fun. He’s just a guy._

* * *

After Shane had gotten the gang all set up in a hotel room with human identities, he couldn't go back to sleep. He was too jittery to try, so he cooked up some oatmeal and brewed a pot of coffee and brought out a notepad.

He jotted down some things for his staff to do for the day and brought out his sage burning bowl from the cupboard. Sara had gotten it for him when she noticed that he tended to get stressed out easily. He didn't really use it often, except to send notes to the underworld. He brought out a set of matches and struck one against the box. It lit up and he used it to burn the note, whispering the names of his servants as he did so. Maybe it was lazy, but it was faster than going back down. It helped him stay above the memories in his home.

After the paper was completely ash, Shane tossed the remains in the trash and put the bowl in the sink. Then he lit two candles and grabbed the cinnamon for his oatmeal. Once he was finally settled, he looked out the window to see that the sun was just starting to break the dark horizon. It was dawn. Dawn, something he never got to see in the underworld. Down below the horizon was a constant white to black gradient. Ominous and cold over the dark waters of Styx.

Overworld sunrises were completely different. When the sun is still settled behind the trees, you can see the sky start to lighten. From navy blue, to purple, to pink. Breaking the treeline brings more intense colors. Orange, red, and gold. It was gorgeous. He wondered how many humans truly appreciated how wonderful their world was. Although, it wasn't as if he were pure of that misfortune.

Shane sighed, turning his oatmeal in the bowl, suddenly feeling a bit too forlorn. His appetite vanished. He shook his head. He couldn't think like that now. Couldn't fall back into pointless misery.

He needed to come up with a plan before the other God's come back around. That group would be the death of him, he knew it. He didn't have any leads right now, though. However, something that Eugene said stuck to him. A thorn in his side, digging under his skin.

_‘Or prince’._

Shane hadn't even considered that at all. Because of this oversight, he could have overlooked Persephone a thousand times over. In fact, as his mind started to wander back, he could recall some men in past generations that seemed to call to him- but at the time he'd ignored them. As ignorant as that sounded, he was simply too blinded by grief to think straight.

With this new information, Shane filed through all the possible men who could be Persephone. He wondered if any physical characteristics would carry over? Like her dark hair, or the dusting of freckles over her nose, or the petal-soft curve of her lips.

He didn't care too much about her body, but it would help him find her if she looked the same- or similar.

He racked his brain for some list of men he's met since coming to the overworld this time. It was dramatically shorter than the list of women, but maybe there was something to that. Maybe there was someone who would stand out from the rest…

Then it clicked.

 _Ryan_.

* * *

Shane was on the edge of panic. He had missed a huge component of searching just because he was too stupid to think about it at all. The worst part was being reminded of this essential element via a God he didn’t like or want to associate with. He couldn’t deny, however, that if Eugene had never come up and suggested that, he would still be searching endlessly for women alone. To say he felt embarrassed was an understatement. He was supposed to be part of the big three. He was supposed to be… perceptive at the least.

But now he found himself right where he wanted to be the least. Last night he’d found the gang a hotel to stay at since it was too late to properly purchase any apartment. It was one of the cheaper chains, but still nice because of the area. He had just wanted to get them out his hair for the moment. They probably already knew he was there. He took a sharp breath in and walked into the hotel.

As he entered the lobby, he was distracted by the savory food smell. Oh yes, this hotel served breakfast until 11am. Although the Gods didn't need to eat to survive for the first few weeks in their human form, they greatly enjoyed doing so. Humans have always made food preparation into an art somehow. Using delicate balances of spices and techniques, they could create whatever craving they desired.

Shane was interested as well, but he knew that Eugene was behind the decision to stay at the hotel that had a bar and free breakfast. Eugene was the party God, after all. Enjoying indulgences and bodily pleasures since the dawn of mankind. The thought made Shane blush, but he shook it off as he rounded the corner into the hotels cafe.

He spotted them instantly. Although, it wasn't hard considering Eugene was the only one holding what was very obviously some vodka in a paper bag, Keith was arranging his food into some kind of art piece, Ned was talking avidly about his wife, and Zach was trying not to look like he'd desperately like to leave.

Shane approached cautiously, but his casual display was quickly shattered when he was spotted. Zach immediately stood and walked over, beaming.

“Hades!” he said, and Shane shot him a look.

“No,” he frowned, looking to see if any other patrons were listening. They all seemed pretty dead tired. “Call me Shane.”

Zach apologized, “oh, right, sorry!”

Shane shrugged it off and they went to sit with the rest of the group. The rest of the God's paused in what they were doing to look up at Shane. He sat down and everything was quiet for a painful second. He swallowed nervously.

“So,” he cleared his throat. “I've done a lot of thinking and,” he paused. The group looked like they were on the edge of their seats. “I think I know a lead for who Persephone is.”

The God's all had various positive reactions to the news. Eugene had a smirk on his face, leaning forward.

“What changed?” He asked. “You've been going in circles for millennia.”

Shane grit his teeth. He hated admitting that someone helped him. He hated even more to admit someone he kind of hated helped him. Well, he guessed he didn't hate Eugene. The guy was just kind of unpleasant sometimes.

“It was your comment yesterday.” He murmured. “You said ' _or prince_ ’ and… I didn't even consider that until you said something.”

Eugene grinned. “Wow, pretty closed minded for a God to never think about that.”

Ned scoffed. “I think he was just too heartbroken to think straight.”

“Or to think anyway other than straight.” Keith joked. Shane looked unamused at the banter.

“Well who do you think it is?” Zach butt in. “Do you know his name?”

Shane nodded, wringing his hands, feeling suddenly nervous. “Yeah.” He couldn't take meeting their eyes so he stared down at the table. “His name is Ryan. I ran into him in the woods. I don't know anything about him.”

There was silence around him. He finally looked back up and the rest of the Gods were looking between themselves. It was almost like they were communicating silently somehow. Eventually, Keith looked back at Shane and smiled.

“So, you don't know anything about him?” He asked.

Shane was about to shake his head when he remembered a few things. “Well, he was shooting some video so he might have a channel. Um, he lives on my street I think… and I told him I go to the Seashell sometimes if he ever wanted to hang out.”

“Oh, well that's something.” Ned said, looking a little less stressed about the situation. “Why do you think he's the one?”

Shane stilled. He pursed his lips. Why did he think Ryan was the one? Because of that pulling feeling in the woods? Because of his deep brown eyes? Was it the feel of his body pressing into him and his small, soft hands?

“I was in the forest,” he said, scratching his chin. “There was this pulling in my chest. Like I was attached to a string. I felt drawn away. And then-- I met him.”

The other Gods looked a little in awe. It really did sound like it was meant to be when he said it like that. But he wasn't exaggerating. He didn't make that kind of thing up.

“Wow, that sounds magical.” Ned said after a breathless pause. “Did the feeling go away after you met him?”

Shane nodded. He felt so stupid now, after he got the chance to really think about it. The fates weren't so cruel. They were trying to bring them together and he ignored them. It made his head hurt thinking about it.

“Well, how do we find him?” Shane heard one of them say. He shook his head.

“I- I didn't get his number or anything. I didn't think I was gonna see him again. I told him about the bar though.” He explained. “He might go there tonight. Should I go?”

Zach piped up, “I think it's your best chance at seeing him again.” He said. “Do you really think you found him so easily?”

Shane looked at Zach for a moment before casting his eyes down. He studied the table and took a short breath in.

“I may have found him, but it's never so easy.” Shane said softly. The rest of the Gods fell silent. After a moment, Shane awkwardly laughed. “So, wanna get set up with a new apartment?”

* * *

When Ryan got home from work, he was nervous. He was going to go to the Seashell tonight, meet up with Shane, and clear everything up. Honestly, his nerves were on fire, his thoughts running a mile a minute. He was considering every outcome as he went through some daily routines. _What if Shane didn't show? What if he didn't recognize him? What if he couldn't find the bar? What if the bar was unexpectedly closed? What if Shane wasn't even a nice guy, what if he was a serial killer?_

There were a lot of things to consider when you went out on a limb like he was doing. He wanted to make a good impression, but he didn't want to seem like he was trying too hard. He also wanted to know what he was going to say to the man. What information is too much? What is too little? He didn't want to appear mysterious, because he was actually quite boring. Although, part of him also reminded him that the way they met was already like some meet-cute romance novel, so maybe it wouldn't end up being that bad after all.

Ryan managed to set aside his worry long enough to look at his clothes. He needed to pick an outfit, but he wasn't sure what look he was going for. His wardrobe mostly consisted of jerseys and basketball shorts, since he was lazy at best. He had some nicer outfits, mostly for work, but some for formal occasions.

After rummaging through his closet for thirty minutes he managed to muster up an outfit for the night. It was dark grey jeans, almost black, paired with a light grey button up. The button up had a tiny red rose pattern, giving the look some color back. Ryan debated wearing a bowtie, but ditched the idea last minute. It was a bar for Christ sake! He was already going to be overdressed. He just hoped Shane didn't dress like a hobo for this specific occasion- or just didn't show at all.

He checked all of his belongings three times. He had his wallet, with his ID, some cash, and card. He had his fully charged cell phone. He itched to bring his camera, but it would undoubtedly get damaged so he left it alone. Was that everything? He took one last look at his place before turning towards the door. His hand on the doorknob, he took a long breath in and then let it out slowly. He opened the door and went out.

Everything was going to be _fine_.

* * *

“Guys please, I need to go.” Shane said, although his voice didn't sound urgent. He was too tired to sound urgent.

After breakfast, Shane and the group had scoped out new apartments. Despite his best efforts, they ended up landing a place right next door to Shane's apartment complex that was slightly higher quality and also much larger than his own. He kinda hoped the group would be drawn to the more lavish apartments… the ones that were further away from him. But now they were involved with him. Zach, especially, wanted to help Shane. Ned thought the whole thing was romantic, which Shane would have to pass a hard disagree on.

After they sorted out the paperwork, they booked the hotel for a few more nights until move in. Then the group decided that they wanted to pick out Shane's outfit for tonight.

Cue four extra people in Shane's little apartment bedroom, throwing about clothing and arguing amongst themselves for a few hours.

Shane needed a drink. Lots of drinks. And fast. Very fast.

Currently, Ned and Eugene were both holding up shirts to Shane's torso and shouting over which one looked nicer. It was a close tie between a disco patterned button up and a soft, charcoal grey sweater.

“Well I think this sweater gives a welcoming, homey vibe. You know, imagine coming home from work to your husband wearing a cozy looking sweater. Wouldn't you want to snuggle up?” Ned defended his choice well. Shane liked the particular sweater he was holding. It was well worn and comfortable, something he wore on lazy days.

Eugene scoffed. “He's going to a bar, not your grandmother's Christmas party! This shirt has more pop, it catches the eye. And ugly patterns are in now! It perfectly matches his personality. Modern, but cool.”

Shane had to admit, they both had good arguments. Although, he wasn't sure how ‘ _modern, but cool_ ’ he was. He did like the disco patterned shirt. It was mostly a joke, but he was also pretty fond of how it fit.

Zach butted in. “I say disco pattern.” In the background, Keith nodded in agreement. Ned stomped his foot, not unlike a child being told _'no’_. Shane swallowed down a laugh.

“You guys have no sense!” He tossed the sweater onto Shane's bed and crossed his arms in a huff.

“Disco pattern it is then?” Shane said, sounding relieved. He was itching to leave. He didn't care what he was wearing at this point.

“I hope this Ryan guy likes losers,” Ned muttered under his breath.

The rest of them chuckled at the comment, and left Shane to get changed. After the outfit was situated, he simply looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was a mess, even after many attempts at combing his fingers through it. He hadn't shaved in a few days, and he looked plain tired. He wondered what Ryan would think about him.

_Was he even going to show up? Was this a good idea?_

He sighed. There was only one way to find out.

He left his bedroom to find the boys in the kitchen. There were five shot glasses all in a line down the counter. They had some sort of clear liquid in it. Shane paled.

Eugene was holding a bottle of vanilla vodka, and he laughed at the other God's expression.

“Don't worry, it's not poison!” He joked. “We thought one shot to give you a little confidence boost?”

The rest of them nodded enthusiastically and picked up their own glasses. Eugene put the bottle down and picked up two glasses, handing one off to Shane.

“To Hades’ love life!” Eugene cheered. The rest of them laughed. Shane pretended to gag.

“To Hades’ love life!”

* * *

The bar was crowded. Well, to be fair it was the weekend, of course people would be excited to go out. The seashell was one of his favorite places to hang out and observe people.

Humans were curious creatures. Like the God's, they had complex emotions and intricate bonds. They had desires and needs that weren't always so easy to understand. Unlike the God's, however, they were inhibited by their mortality. For example, if two people were brawling in this bar, it wouldn't normally get too out of hand, lest someone get mortally wounded.

Besides the laws in their society, humans naturally feared things they couldn't understand. Death, afterlife, religion, mental illness, the list goes on. To watch humans interact in such a vulnerable place. A bar, where morals are loosened, where bars are lowered. It was interesting.

Though today, he wasn't people watching. He was here for a reason.

He leaned against an open bar stool and ordered a simple beer. The shot from earlier wasn't enough to buzz him, but it did make him feel warm- and a little less anxious.

“Would you like the start a tab, sir?” the bartender asked him.

“Yes, thank you,” he said and handed her his credit card. A few patrons mingled around the bar. The Seashell wasn't the largest bar every, but it was a fairly good sized building. It had an upper floor that was a sit down restaurant, and this lower level was the bar. It wasn't dingy-- clean enough to make you feel okay about sticking around.

After a few moments, he checked his phone.

 _**Sara** _ _:_ _what are you doing this weekend?_

Shane gave a soft hum at the text. He'd been so busy carting around that gaggle of Gods that he completely forgot about Sara. He hoped she wasn't too upset about it. She undoubtedly knew he was a busy guy.

_**Shane** : _I_ dunno yet. I met someone. I'm at the bar right now waiting for him. _

Just then the bartender passed him his beer. He smiled as he thanked her. He took a sip, and a moment later a woman leaned on the stool next to him.

“Hey,” she said to him. Shane had to do a double take to realize that it was actually him she was talking to. “You here all by yourself?”

Shane swallowed nervously. It wasn't that he'd never been flirted with before, it was more like-- he really didn't need to be dealing with such a situation right now. What if Ryan saw him and got angry? Although, it wasn't as if the two were dating. Even if that might be in their future.

He would have to see if his theory was correct first, before he thought about that.

“N-no, I'm waiting for someone.” He said, thankfully only stuttering a little bit. The girl looked on mischievously.

“Who is it, your girlfriend? Your wife?” She leaned into his space. He pulled back, but she was still uncomfortably close. He felt a nervous sweat on the back of his neck.

His phone buzzed.

 _**Sara** _ _:_ _Met someone? Ohmygod you have to tell me all the deets! He's a dude? What's his name? Is he pretty?_

Shane gave a short huff of laughter at the text. Then he smiled slyly and looked back at the woman.

“Yeah, I'm waiting for my boyfriend.” He said, sternly. The women's face fell and she backed off.

“Ahh, okay then.” With that, she left. Shane grimaced, even though he felt better with her gone. He took a long drink of his beer.

 _**Shane** _ _:_ _His name is Ryan. He's short. Cute. Dark hair. Dark eyes. He makes videos. Might have a YouTube channel. Don't know yet though._

When he looked up from his phone this time, he felt a soft tugging in his heart. He glanced towards the door and instantly saw him.

Ryan was dressed casually, but still nice. He looked nervous, but determined. In fact, Shane wasn't sure how he didn't see the similarities before. The boy really did look like a modern, male Persephone.

Then Ryan looked his way and smiled. It was blinding. Shane waved him over.

“Hey, you're here.” Ryan said. He blushed then, scratching awkwardly at the back of his neck. “W-well, of course you are. You said you'd be here…”

Shane stifled a laugh at Ryan's little stumble. He knew what the boy meant. You couldn't always be sure when you're making plans with strangers.

“No worries, I wouldn't ditch you.” He smiled. “I'm a little surprised you came, too. I was worried you might've thought I was some kind of creep.”

Ryan laughed at that. “No, no! You're not creepy, well-- as far as I can tell. Although, we did meet each other in the woods.” He looked away for a moment, and noticed Shane's beer. “Already started, huh?”

“Of course. Hey, drinks on me, yeah?” He offered. Ryan blushed again.

“On you? Oh, no, I--” Ryan started, but cut himself off. He seemed to ponder it for a moment before sighing. “Oh- okay. As long as you let me pay the next time.”

“Next time? You must like me.” Shane couldn't help but laugh. Ryan lightly punched him in the arm.

Shane ordered two more drinks for them and they chatted away. Ryan barely spoke a word or two about his job, but went off about his YouTube channel. He loved film and vlogging helped him a lot with practicing different filming and editing styles. It also helped him build his portfolio so that he could break into a career in it. Shane gave some vague description of an accountant as his job, and mostly steered the conversation towards his hobbies. Gardening, reading, and watching movies were his top three. He mostly liked movies for the popcorn, though, if he was being honest.

“Oh yeah, same. Popcorn is my favorite food!" Ryan said, grinning. “I like it classic, though. Just a spritz of butter and a dash of salt and you're good to go!”

“One time I walked into a theater and bought a large popcorn even though I wasn't seeing a movie.” Shane said. Ryan laughed. “The employees eyed me strangely, but otherwise it was a liberating experience.”

“What kinds of things do you garden?” Ryan asked. He was on his fifth or sixth beer, Shane noticed. He had switched to water after his third beer. He hoped Ryan wasn't drinking too much. Though he was curious about how he would act, drunk.

“Well, I can't do much with my current apartment. But I do grow lots of flowers. I set them up on all my windows and try my hardest to keep them alive.” He paused, suddenly feeling a bit forlorn. “Gardening reminds me of someone I used to know. They were really special to me.”

“Who?” Ryan asked, though he bit his lip and quickly said, “You don't have to talk about it if you don't want.”

Shane shook his head. His heart hurt to talk about Persephone, but he'd been hurting for so long that it was natural for him. He smiled.

“Her name was Persie.” He said, leaning against the bar. Ryan moved in closer, interest written on his face. “She was really one of a kind. Plants in her care thrived effortlessly, any kind, no matter the weather. She had such a way with animals, too. Even the most savage beasts would roll over for a rub when she was around.” He paused, letting out a sigh. “I have this dog. He's quite a vicious dog, trained in guarding territory. The first time she met him, he whined and licked her hand. He hasn't even done that with me. It was amazing.”

Ryan smiled, “wow, she sounds wonderful. What happened to her?”

Shane let his face fall a bit at the question. “I-- uh,” he hesitated, taking a sip of his water. His voice was nothing but a whisper. “She… she went away.”

Ryan frowned empathetically. “I'm so sorry.”

Shane was quiet for a moment, before peeking back up. “It's alright. That was a long, long time ago.”

Ryan downed the rest of his beer. There was a constant pink tinge in his face from drinking, Shane could tell. It was rather cute.

“Hey, this may or may not be too much info, but speaking of more serious things, I keep having these weird dreams.” Ryan started. He inched closer to Shane, enough so that he could lean against him. Shane blushed, but didn't pull away. “Sometimes i'm on a long, white sand beach somewhere I've never seen before. Sometimes I'm drowning in dark water. Once, I was in a magnificent castle. But I'm always someone else.” He paused. “Well. I'm still me, but people call me another name. I have even seen myself in my dream. I look the same, but also-- different. A different version of myself.”

“What do they call you in these dreams?” Shane asked. His heart pounded. What Ryan was about to say might change everything.

Ryan opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Instead, he winced and brought up a hand to his head like he was hurt. Shane put an arm around his shoulders, but Ryan was quick to push him away.

“I should go,” he said. Shane was kind of stunned. He wasn’t sure what to say. As Ryan got up to leave, he grabbed the man’s arm.

“Wait--” he started. Ryan looked back at him then, and Shane could’ve sworn his eyes flashed gold.

He let go.

Ryan left the bar quickly and disappeared from sight. Shane still had his hand open, the lingering feeling of pressing skin to skin still on his fingers. Those eyes. Shane’s heart pounded away. His phone buzzed.

 _**Sara** _ _:_ _He sounds cute! Don’t mess it up!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I barely edited this before I posted it so feel free to let me know if there are any glaring mistakes!


End file.
